Konan's temper
by The Sebastian Michaelis
Summary: An Akatsuki parody story! Very random! :3
1. In Lala Land

**A random Akatsuki story! Yay for randomness! **

**Deidara: Didn't you already have one of those, un?**

**Gilli-chan: Yes, but I deleted it **

**Sasori: She doesn't own Naruto **

**Gilli-can: thank you for that, but I was capable**

Pein had only been gone for five days on a mission with Konan, but who knew the rest of the Akatsuki could make such a wreck out the hide out.

***Mission flash back***

"**Konan! Help me! I'm falling off the bridge!" **

"**Why did you sit on the very edge in the first place?" **

"**It seemed like a good idea" **

"**Well it wasn't" **

***End of flash back***

Pain frowned when he walked up to the hide out and heard yelling. He knew he couldn't trust the rest of the Akatsuki not to screw everything up, but yet he needed to get away for once. Konan looked at the depressed yet angered face Pein was making and knew exactly what he was about to do. Pein walked in and stared.

"WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU ALL DONE TO THE HIDE OUT!" Pein yelled.

Every one dropped what they were doing and doing and stared. Deidara and Tobi had been throwing stuff, Hidan had been cursing at Kakazu, Zetsu had been trying to eat Kisame, and Sasori and Itachi were just trying to watch television. Pein sighed and walked to his room, upon his leaving the chaos started again.

"You idiot!" Deidara yelled throwing the closest thing, a teal vase at Tobi.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi yelled back.

"No your not!" Deidara shouted.

"EVERYONE STOP IT BEFORE I CANCEL THE SOAP OPERA CHANNEL!" Konan screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Yes ma'am" the Akatsuki replied.

"Now Deidara and Tobi hug each other, Hidan and Kakazu do the same. Zetsu stop trying to eat people before I kick you out of the Akatsuki, we're tired of your crap! And you blue boy, why the heck are you blue?" Konan ranted.

Every one did as they were told because they were so scared of the blunette. Sasori and Itachi were still staring at the T.V. not moving, didn't even look like they were breathing.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! The mission part happened 2 me and my friend, I almost fell into my pond because I sat on the edge on the bridge. Bad ideas….lol <strong>

**Review or Konan will nag you! Lolz ;'[^\\]`; **


	2. Blue Raspberries!

**Some one asked for it, and guess what…..It's here!**

**Konan's temper chapter 2! **

**Blue boy: Gilli-chan doesn't own Naruto**

**Konan: YOU NEVER ANSWERED ME BLUE BOY! **

**Gilli-chan: Konan save your attitude for the story please**

Konan stared at Sasori and Itachi until her face turned as blue as her hair.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU 2!" Konan screeched.

"I'm a pretty butterfly I bring the pretty to your eye" Itachi sang. (Got that from chowder)

Konan stared at the Uchiha before she grabbed the T.V., ripping it out of the wall and throwing it at the two sitting on the couch.

"IDOITS!" she shouted walking away.

"Tobi will catch the fairy!" Tobi shouted following the light of a flash light Deidara was moving around.

"OMG A FAIRY!" Konan screamed pushing Tobi out of the way and chasing the small ball of light.

Deidara stared at the weird blue haired girl chasing the light and laughed. Then she realized it wasn't a fairy, and boy was she mad!

"Dei-Dei chan lied to Konan. NOW HE WILL PAY" Konan shouted getting the scissors of the drawer.

She walked up behind Deidara and grabbed his hair, then she quickly snipped it off. Deidara screamed in terror as his once long blonde hair was reduced to a choppy bob. Konan had lost it; this moment was bound to come. She was the only girl stuck in a group with 9 guys. Nine annoying, idiot guys.

"Kisame" Konan said in a calm voice.

"YOU NEVER ANSWERED ME!" she screamed.

"Okay fine, when I was little I fell in a vat of blue Kool-Aid, been blue ever since" Kisame explained.

"Do you taste like Kool-Aid?" Konan asked him.

"I don't know" Kisame replied.

Then Konan started to chase Kisame shouting 'giant blue raspberry'.

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><p><strong>DLC GIRL thx for the review! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	3. Pandas, Alice, Dorothy and a fairy!

**Konan throws the T.V. in the air some times, screaming ayo! You're an idiot-o!**

**Deidara: She doesn't own Naruto, why'd you let her cut my hair?**

**Gilli-can: You looked like a girl! **

"I found a gum drop in a magical rainbow forest!" Konan said skipping around the hide out.

"MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Deidara screamed falling to his knees sobbing.

"Your face is pretty" Kakazu said

"It resembles an orangutan" Hidan said adding to Kakazu's statement.

"NO I'M A PANDA, THE QUEEN OF THE PANDA'S" Konan hollered correcting them.

Pein walked out of his room in a giant panda suit.

"Good marrow your highness" Pein said bowing to the blunette.

"Hello peasant!" Konan replied smacking him.

"I'M LATE! I'M LATE! FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE NO TIME TO SAY HELLO, GOOD BYE! I'M LATE! I'M LATE I'M LATE!" Sasori yelled running around with bunny ears glued to his head. (That line is from Alice in wonderland)

"Wait rabbit!" Konan yelled chasing Sasori around.

"Why me? Why my hair" Deidara said rocking back and forth in a fettle position.

"Your highness, stop chasing rabbits! You have a kingdom to attend to!" Pein said.

"Tobi is a fairy!" Tobi screamed flying around with fairy wings that randomly appesr on his back.

"LALALALALA" Itachi sang.

Then Sasori ran out the door, Konan hot on his trail. When she got with in inches of the door…..Sasori pushed it at her. The door hit Konan knocking her out, just as planned. The poor girl needed help, BADLY.

"KO!" Deidara shouted like an announcer.

"Ding dong the witch is dead!" Sasori exclaimed jumping up and down. (Wizard of Oz)

"IN YOUR DREAMS MY PRETTYS!" Konan yelled.

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><p><strong>Wow that girl is crazy! Lol there will be more 2 this awesmazing tale I promise! :3 <strong>

**Review and panda Pein will give you a cookie! **


	4. Believe it dobe

**Ay ay, ay ay! It's a party in the Akat-suki! (I wrote that)**

**Konan: I shall eat you teehee **

**Gilli-chan: I don't own Naruto, the quotes I use or the songs. **

"I'm a pretty pony!" Pein screamed.

"Smurf it all!" Sasori yelled slamming his head into a wall.

Then pancakes fell from the ceiling, tons of pancakes.

"Pancakes, Pancakes I'm in love with you! You've got butter and syrup too!" Konan said dancing around in pancakes.

"U L G Y you ain't got no alibi you ugl-ay!" Hidan sang.

"All of you shut up" Pein yelled.

"AH HA! WE FOUND THE AKATSUKI! BELIEVE IT!" Naruto yelled kicked down the door.

"Save me from the chaos cousin Naruto!" Pein yelled jumping into his arms.

"This can't be the Akatsuki! These people are freaks" Naruto said dropping Pein and running away.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Pein yelled.

"I hear voices….." Deidara said turning his head side ways.

"ZOMG SANTA!" Itachi yelled hugging Tobi.

"Finally the day has come where I will defeat you Itachi!" Sasuke yelled.

"Mommy?" Itachi asked.

"MOMMY!" Itachi screamed as he clung to Sasuke's leg.

"What is wrong with you!" Sasuke yelled trying to shake Itachi off.

"I wuv you mommy!" Itachi said.

Then Sasuke started to twitch a little, he looked freaked out yet mad. He threw Itachi off of him and ran then ran, just like Naruto did.

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><p><strong>I was bored. It's short sorry. :3 but still hahaha<strong>


	5. Gillichan enters

**Wow! Lots of people like this! Great!**

**I don't own Naruto and all that other blah blah crap **

**:3**

"Alice my love!" Pein screamed running at Konan full speed.

"Bad fluffy!" Konan yelled slapping Pein.

"Alice my dear never fear for I am near!" Pein rhymed.

"Peter I'm not interested" Konan said walking away.

"I'M BACK!" Orochimaru shouted strolling into the Akatsuki hide out.

"Hello snakey poo!" Konan giggled.

"What did you call me?" Orochimaru asked getting angry.

"Back off he's mine sister!" Deidara said slapping Konan.

"Nu uh gurlllll" Konan said slapping Deidara back.

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Itachi yelled bursting into tear.

"Blub blub?" Kisame asked.

"I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world" Sasori sang.

"What's wrong with you people? Is thissssss some kind of prank or a new jutssssu?" Orochimaru asked.

"Add one cup of bananas to a tube of tooth paste and then add a pound of flour" Pein mumbled.

"Um, What's going on here?" Gilli-chan asked.

"I don't know" Orochimaru replied.

" This madness must stop!" Gilli-chan screamed.

"Believe it!" Pein yelled.

"Only Naruto can say that!" Gilli-chan said kicking Pein.

"I'm out of here" Orochimaru hissed as he left the Akatsuki once again.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<br>**


	6. To the fan girls

**Konan: Make me a sandwich! **

**Gilli-chan: no**

**Pein: she la doesn't la own la Naruto la**

"You guys need to chill, your S rank criminals for craps sake!" Gilli-chan scolded.

"I'm the queen of the pandas not you" Konan said pouting like a two year old.

"Not any more, I'm the new leader of the Akatsuki!" Gilli-chan announced.

"No I'm the leader!" Pein yelled.

"Bad Pein! Go sit the corner!" Gilli-chan replied realizing that treating them like toddlers might work.

"Yes ma'am" he said as he walked over to the corner and sat down.

"BWHAHAHAHA" Gilli-chan screeched; the power had gone to her head fast.

"Did you people straighten up yet?" Sasuke asked walking in.

"OMG IT'S SASUKE!" Gilli-chan screamed as she hugged him.

"AHHHHHH FANGIRL!" Sasuke yelled trying to get Gilli-chan off of him.

"I LOVE YOU!" Gilli-chan said not letting go.

"I defiantly do not love you" Sasuke replied.

"Why Sasuke-kun?" Gilli-chan asked pouting with puppy dog eyes.

"Because you won't let go!" Sasuke replied frowning.

"Oh sorry" Gilli-chan said letting him go.

"Well I guess I'll be going" Sasuke said leaving once again.

"Aww" Gilli-chan pouted.

"Can I get out of the corner yet?" Pein asked not turning around.

"NO!" Gilli-chan replied.

"Okay every one else nap time"Gilli-chan said clapping.

"But we're not tired" Zetsu said.

"I'm tired of you so OUT! YOUR NOT IN THE AKATSUKI ANY MORE!" Gilli-chan screamed.

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><p><strong>Lol there you go Zetsu fans. HAHAHA :3 <strong>


	7. All you need is love!

**I have returned to add more crazy crap to this story!**

**So if it's crazy ahahaha :3 **

**Zetsu: She doesn't own Naruto or 'All you need is love' **

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><p>"Deidara stop acting retarded its hair! It'll grow back!" Gilli-chan yelled.<p>

"But" Deidara started.

"If you keep it up I'll kick you out too" Gilli-chan warned.

"Gilli-chan I've had enough of your crap!" Konan yelled.

"Bring it on" Gilli-chan replied.

"Oh it's on!" Konan screamed kicking Gilli-chan so hard she probably flew into the sun.

"Yay she's gone!" Pein cheered from his corner.

"Pein be quiet your still in trouble" Konan said pointing to the wall.

"ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!" Pein sang.

"ALL YOU NEED IS TO SHUT UP!" Konan yelled shooting him a glare.

"Yes ma'am" Pein replied turning around.

"Um, is everything normal yet?" Sasuke asked peaking through the entrance of the hideout.

"MOMMY!" Itachi screeched latching on to his younger brother.

"OH MY GAWD SOMEONE HELP ME!" Sasuke shouted trying to pry Itachi off of him.

"Nope, you'll live" Pein replied.

"Pein NO talking!" Konan yelled pointing her index finger at him.

"I don't have to listen to you!" Pein scoffed standing up and brushing off his cloak.

"Yes you do!" Konan replied.

"Ahem, being hugged to death over here!" Sasuke shouted waving his arms up and down.

"When life gives you Itachi, make lemonade!" Pein yelled.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Sasuke replied.

"Yes it doesn't!" Pein said.

"OMG I regret ever coming back here!" Sasuke shouted as he threw Itachi on the floor and then fled just as he did before.

"If I had nickel for every time someone said that, I would have five cent!" Konan exclaimed.

"NOOOOOO MOMMY TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Itachi screeched.

"Get over it" Sasori said slapping him the arm of a puppet.

"NWO!" Itachi replied pouting.

"Whatever, I quit. This place sucks!" Sasori said walking away.

"Can I make the hideout fleeting?" Deidara asked.

"NO!" Konan replied throwing Kisame at him.

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><p><strong>WOOHOO another chapter! <strong>

**YAY**

**review please!  
><strong>


	8. Pie, Waffels and a leash?

**OH MY FREAKIN WAFFELS! **

**13 REVIEWS! **

**Let's shoot for 20! Thanks for all the reviews! **

**This story is a HIT! **

**I'm glad you like it! **

**So I'll just keep adding stuff to it! **

**Zetsu: She doesn't own Naruto or FMA  
><strong>

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><p>"I love pie" Konan shouted.<p>

"Me too!" Sasori chimed.

"Us three" Zetsu practically sang.

"Zetsu" Konan said calmly.

"GET OUT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

He shrugged and then exited the hideout. Things slowly seemed back to normal. Konan had her normal temper, Pein was in his office working, and Deidara was brushing his hair. Yep, totally normal. But we all now that won't last long…..

"TOBI IS A FLYING WAFFEL!" Tobi yelled as he ran around the hideout.

"Tobi, shut up!" Pein shouted, smacking Tobi in the head.

"But Tobi is happy" Tobi protested.

"Well we're trying to have a meeting over here" Pein explained.

"Tobi is sorry leader-sama" Tobi replied.

Pein went on to talk for hours and this was highly annoying to Konan, who was now about to have another episode. Konan couldn't stand the Akatsuki any more. She was over it. She was **DONE. **

"Do you like waffles?" Itachi sang

"Yes we like waffles!" Sasori chimed.

"Do you like pancakes?" Itachi continued.

"NO WE DO NOT LIKE PANCAKES!" Konan shouted hitting him with a frying pan.

Then Edward Elric walked into the hideout.

"I called in the professionals…" Sasuke said as he peaked out from behind Ed.

"I gots a frying pan and I don't know how to use it!" Konan warned.

"Step aside please" Ed asked.

"In your dreams blondy!" she said smacking him with the pan.

"ZOMG….MOMMY-KUN!" Itachi screeched as he lunged over to Sasuke, clinging to him.

"Not again…." Sasuke muttered.

"Can I keep him?" Itachi asked Konan.

"Yes you can keep him, just make sure he's on a leash" she replied.

"A LEASH?" Sasuke shouted.

Before he could resist Itachi had put a collar and leash on him.

**Mean while outside the hideout…..**

"Hm, OMG I smell SASUKE-KUN!" Gilli-chan cheered.

She ran inside the hide out and immediately clung to him as she did before.

"Ack fan girl off. DOWN PUPPY. BAD DOG!" he said prying her off.

"Aww" she whimpered with huge cute anime puppy dog eyes.

"OMG not the anime puppy dog eyes jutsu! My one weakness! NOOOOO" Sasuke yelled in agony.

She again clung to him but this time he was different. He had caught crazy…..or more or less lost his mind. He then threw Gilli-chan back into the Mesosphere to freeze again and hopefully never come back.

"Cookies….are…..GOOD" Sasuke said weirdly.

"I believe I can fly!" Sasori shouted waving his arms up and down like a bird about to take flight.

And with those words he soared into the sky like a bird-kid…..WEEEEEEEEEEE!

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! ^-^ <strong>

**Does you see the cute little review this chapter button?**

**Click it**

**Click now**

**You know you wanna click it….**

**:D**


	9. A very Akatsuki Thanksgiving

**Happy Thanksgiving my adoring public!**

**3 yall'! **

**So here's a holiday Konan's Temper just for u! **

**I don't own Naruto or FMA**

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><p>The table was set and covered in the best looking food you could probably find. The hide out smelled heavily of stuffing and pie. Everyone was seated and talking, they even invited Edward Elric to set for a while! But thanksgiving with the Akatsuki was very different from the way we celebrate…..<p>

"Thank you for this food and thank you for our many friends and family" Pein prayed.

"Amen" everyone finished.

"Let the festivities begin!" Pein announced.

Everyone begun filling their plates with food, but Sasuke and Ed were the only ones eating. What were they gonna do with all that food? It's unlikely they would give it to the needy so something crazy must be about to happen…

"Konan, would you like to have the honor of starting?" Pein asked.

"Of course" she replied, smirking at Pein.

And with that she smashed her plate food and all over Sasori's head, starting the annual thanksgiving food fight. Konan loved this time of the year, a time when she could go crazy. But wait, doesn't she go crazy every day? Oh well.

"Getting a hair cut blondy!" Konan yelled as she poured cranberry sauce in his hair.

"MY HAIR!" Deidara screamed again going totally freaky.

He went on to a corner and began to rock back and fourth in a fetal position.

"They're here" he said in a creep voice.

"WHO? WHO'S HERE?" Ed asked franticly.

"That's what she said" Sasuke replied laughing.

"Your great aunt Stevie" Zetsu added.

"I can fly. You know yall is jealous" Sasori bragged.

"Okay show us then" Sasuke said.

"Okay" Sasori said as he turned into a chicken then flew away.

"Wow" Ed replied.

"This is weird….Let's go" Sasuke said.

"Agreed" Ed said and with that Ed and Sasuke left.

"And let's never go back" Sasuke added.

"True" Ed replied.

"TOBI WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!" Tobi exclaimed holding a butter knife in the air.

"And I'll have a slice of your brain pickled lightly sautéed then deep fried after being dipped in your blood covered in a teriyaki sauce" Itachi replied.

"That'll cost over twenty thousand million hundred zillion bologna dollars!" Pein exclaimed.

"Cash or check?" Sasori asked.

"Do you take waffles?" Itachi asked.

"NOPE!" Pein replied.

Mean while Konan had her head stuck in the T.V. after head butting it. She didn't like the parade that was on because it was on instead of the soap opera she liked.

"RAWR!" she screamed slamming her head along with the T.V. on the wall.

She was fine, the T.V. wasn't. It was in little tiny pieces.

"Why'd you break the T.V.!" Pein shouted.

"It's not broken it's just in smaller pieces" she replied.

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><p><strong>Deidara: happy thanks giving, un!<strong>

**Sasori: thanks for reading!**

**Deidara: Please review! **

**Sasori: What he said. **

**Deidara: HAPPY THANKSGIVING DANNA!**

**Sasori: ditto. **

**Deidara: ^3^**


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